Joey X Random Shiiettt
by Rinichu
Summary: WARNING: THIS IS NOT FANFIC, ITS JUST A FANFIC I WROTE TO JOKE ABOUT This is just a random fanfic that me and a friend wrote to get bk at my good childhood friend, Joey. Hope you guys enjoy this as much as I did writing itt XDD Please leave a favorite, review, and comment for this story! This might just be a one-shot. Or knot ? You decide ! Love from Rin
1. Joey X Table

Ciaossu~ Its Rin once again~!

This is just a random fanfic of my good childhood friend shipped with random things~  
Its totally knot because he wrote thing about me, and I'm doing this to get revenge~

Just sayinggg this might get/become very awkward so be warned~  
~~~~Now continuing~~~~ 

Joey X Table

Awoken by the sound of the birds chirping, Joey opened his eyes to be greeted by the warm sunlight rays streaming through his blinds. He stretched his arms outward and yawned. Today, would be another ordinary day of going to school. He swiftly swung his legs out from the bed  
and prepared his daily morning routine.

"Joey-kun! ComE downsTAIRS for BREAkfAST!" His mother called.

"HAI OKA-SAN!" He replied back

While he was buttoning his shirt he trotted downstairs and smelled the delicious breakfast his mother made for him. But once he laid eyes on his… delicious mahogany table he got a little bit embarrassed and slowed his gait. He wasn't quite prepared to be seeing table so early in the morning today. As he slid into his chair he was noticing the table and it's sleek varnish. Mother must have polished the table yesterday, and the polish only made the table even more beautiful than it usually looked.

"What's WRONG SWEEATY?" His mother eyed Joey seeing him not touching his plate of eggs.

"Nothing's wrongggggggggggggggggggg lel." Joey replied back

He hesitantly picked his up fork and pushed around his eggs around the plate. His mother frowned and scolded him. He then took a deep breath and scooped a bit of eggs and brings it near his lips. He almost took a bite but felt very self-conscious of the table. He felt like his whole inner being was being ripped open by the table. The table could see every single flaw and imperfections and he felt very embarrassed and frustrated. Just once, just once… He wanted to know what the table felt about him. He was able to take a bite of his eggs but soon found himself being unable to finish. He wanted to quickly go to school but then again he would feel sad and lonely throughout the whole day.

"Seriously you aren't eating your special eggies sweeaty." his mother said.

"it's daijoubu, watashi wa not hungry." he replied.

His mother picked up his plate and set it off to the counter and pushed him to hurry off to school. Tapping on his shoes and picking up his canvas bookbag, he made his way to school…

*aat school derp*

He dragged his feet across the hallways ignoring the rustling and bumble of the school ambience. Sighing, he made his way to his locker and put his textbooks in there. With a heavy heart, he closed his locker and started thinking about his dearly beloved, table. If only the table and I could convey words and hold a conversation together. For some reason the table was always quiet, and stoic. But for some reason it mystified him, The table was like a magnet and its mysterious aura only dragged him in deeper. It was only a matter of time before he slipped into the deep dark abyss of "love."

"Oi, why aren't u getting into ur closs?" a voice said to him

"Oh, sorry I'm going to go very soon sensei." Joey replied to the voice

Handa-sensei, a young math teacher who recently transferred into Joey's school. He was also his homeroom and he often liked nagging him to get to class. Joey eyed the clock and he had at least 2 more minutes before the bell rang. 'Oh shiert' he thought in his mind. Handa-sensei gave him an apologetic look and patted his shoulder. Handa-sensei kind of had this weird aura around him and it seemed like he only acted this way when Handa-sensei was with Joey. Joey had a thought that maybe Handa-sensei had a thing for him but he merely brushed the thought away. While Joey was walking-jogging to his classroom Handa-sensei looked at Joey's back with a sad but longing gaze.

*after school nows lel derp*

Finally it was time to go home, Joey pulled out his iphone3 and checked if he gotten any recent text messages. He saw that he had only juan text message, from his mother.

I am going to be late today sweeatie because I have works oki. -From Oka-san

Joey sighed and walked home and watched the sunset. The sun was dipping down and the sky was filled with warm pinks and oranges, it looked as if the sky had come out of a painting. Then Joey realized, if his mother was coming home late then that means… He would be with table all a lone for a long time. The mere thought had his heart racing and jumping. He felt like anybody could hear the pitter patter of his heart and he steadied his hand on his chest to try to lessen it. But to no avail. He realized he had already arrived at his doorstep and with a gulp he unlocked his door and went inside.

All was still. He slipped off his snookers and dropped his book-bag on the side. There was no sound to be made and all the lights were off. One by one he turned on the lights, slowly making his way to the kitchen. His heart thumping out of his chest he finally turned on the kitchen light. There, behold the beautiful table. He was struck by awe and didn't realize how majestic the table was. The beautiful cut of the wooden posts of its legssssss and how the corners were oh so sharp. The corners were so sharp they cut into his heart. He had fallen so hard for the table. He realized that he was just standing there admiring the table for a good 5 minutes and cleared his throat. The table probably thought that he was a weirdo just standing there staring at him. Joey though that this was a good opportunity to strike a conversation with the table. He slid into the chair and tried to talk with the table.

"So…. how's your day? Joey said.

"..." the table said.

"I had a pretty ordinary day at school." Joey said.

"..." the table said.

"What do you do at home?" Joey said.

"..." the table said.

It was difficult for Joey to make a conversation with him because the table probably dismissed Joey's lame chit chat because the table is too cool for him. I wish I was as cool like the table, Joey thought. He wondered how he would be able to get closer to the table. Realizing that this was getting no where he stood up but realized he stood up too quickly and he stumbled on his toes because he's a clumsy bitch and he fell on the table.

"Gesp." Joey said.

"..." the table said.

When Joey realized his body was on the table his face started to flush bright red like a tomato. What am I doing?! He thought but he didn't want to get up. And then he realized the table caught him when he fell and in his mind he thought that despite the table with its cold personality, it actually had a really warm and gentle side too.

"Oh…. thank you, you saved me.." Joey whispered.

"..." the table retorted.

Joey laid like that for awhile, him and the table not uttering a single word but enjoying each other's company and presence.

"TADAIMAAAAA SWEEATYYYY!" Joey's mother said opening the door

Joey got flabbergasted and quickly stood up and sat on the chair looking a little breathless.

"O.o are u daijoubu sweeaty? What were u doing?" His mother said noticing how out of breath and flushed his face was.

"Uh nothing oka-san It's nandemonai-desu." Joey replied.

Joey tried to look as natural as possible but the only thing he was thinking in his head was how he was laying right on top of the table. He wished he had stroked its smooth table top. Dismissing the thought, he felt like a pervert and tried to get it out of his mind. But still the only thing he could think of was the table… Even eating dinner was painful for him because the table had maintained its stoic attitude, acting like nothing had ever happened between the two. And then he made up his mind. He would confess to the table after midnight.

*midnite time derp*

Once Joey's mother had started snoring, Joey snuck out into the hallway. He stood there for a sec and recited his speech and mentally prepared himself for an answer. Once he felt that he was ready, he made his way downstairs careful not to make a noise. And then he reached the threshold of the kitchen and with each step, he felt powerful and he felt like he could do anything in the world with all the courage he had right now in him. He would finally confess his undying love he had for the table. He had fallen in love with the table for only 13.5 hours, but realized that, the table was the only one for him. He sat down in the chair and made heavy eye contact with the table. With a deep breath he spoke… 

"Uhm, so I have soemhing to say…" Joey said

"..." the table said.

"I've been keeping in some feelings for 13.5 hours, which is pretty long." Joey said.

"..." the table said.

"I realized that with each every passing hour, and those hours I was away from you, I realized how beautiful you are, your polished and perfectly crafted table legs. And then your smooth flat table top that would hold my meals." Joey said.

"..." the table said.

"I've come to hold feelings for you table, and I hope that you can be my lover and I hope that you don't dismiss my feelings as pure temporary attachment." Joey said."

"..." the table said.

"Creak." the table said. 

Joey was unable to contain his gasp. For once the table had actually replied him to and he said… Yes. Unable to keep his shaking hands still, he rested them on the table. The table had felt warm and Joey liked the warmness of the table and smiled gleefully because for once their hearts had connected. His painful worries of the table rejecting him were dismissed and he felt that he could see the table's wooden heart and he realized he now had a place in that very wooden heart of it. Joey sat there with the table and talked with the table until the break of dawn. When his mother woke up, she saw Joey sleeping at the table with a smile plastered on his face. For many years onwar, Joey and the table, will be together.

~~~Fin.~~~


	2. Joey X Handa-Sensei

_Sooooo_ _I madeeee anotha juannn!_

 _Please do enjoy gaizzz_

 _Love, Rin~_

~PS-

 _most of the words are the romanji ver. of Japanese words~_

 _ **Joey** **X**_ _Handa-Sensei_

 _Joey entered his school building and pushed his way past the sea of students crowding around the hallway and their lockers. He sighed and wished all the students wouldn't just stop and stand and chat but move because he had to get to his locker. He dragged his feet to the locker and thought about the table. He had a unrequited love with the table but alas, it was not so. The table was currently dating chair ( ͜_ _つ_ _. And he knew that he couldn't get in the way of their relationship, it would only complicated things and he didn't want the table to think bad things about him. Upon realizing he had taken too long thinking about the table he quickly grabbed his textbooks out of his locker and started walking-jogging to his homeroom. Without realizing he bumped into someone._

" _Ouchz." Joey said._

" _Are you daijoubu(ok)?"the person he bumped into said._

 _When Joey looked up, he realized he had bumped into Handa-sensei he had nice warm dukey-colored eyes. Joey hadn't realized this but Handa-sensei had nice wide strong shoulders and a steady big wide hand that had stretched out to help up Joey._

" _Uhm.. thanks_ _乁_ _ﾟ ﾟ_ _ㄏ_ _." Joey blushed standing up._

" _It's nothing ( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡)" Handa-sensei replied._

 _Handa-sensei urged him to quickly get to his homeroom and Joey walked behind him feeling a little embarrassed. His heart skipped a beat as he gazed down to see Handa-sensei's empty hand. He wanted to hold his hand. Wait a minute, what am I thinking? Joey thought, he only had eyes for the table. He shook his head, to be believe he actually fallen for his teacher for a little bit! Both Handa-sensei and Joey reached the homeroom and once the students saw that both of them were entering when the bell had just rung they started making googly eyes at each other( ͜_ _つ_ _ﾟ_ _.*. Joey noticed that the students were whispering, they were DEFINITELY talking about him and Handa-sensei. Handa-sensei was too kind and oblivious and didn't know that the students were gossiping about them._

" _Okay class get in your seats, it's time to take roll call." Handa-sensei said._

 _Joey sat down in his chair still feeling a little embarrassed but laid his head on his elbows and waited for roll call to be over._

" _Jeremy Lichen_ _乁_ _(ω)_ _ㄏ_

" _Here!"_

" _Sashimi Tofu_ _୧_ _º_ _ᨎ_ _º_ _୨_

" _presant!"_

" _Hugh Jazz (‿)."_

" _Hue"_

" _Joey.q͜ʖp"_

" _Ah, here!"_

 _Once joey had awkwardly said here, he realized that he was the only one that Handa-sensei called him by his first name. His mind was racing with thoughts, thinking about why Handa-sensei didn't call him by his full name. Am I getting special treatment? He looked up and immediately regretted looking up because Handa-sensei was staring RIGHT at him with really fierce and powerful eyes. He felt a hint of longing from that gaze and felt the heat rise up to his face and kept his head down so Handa-sensei wouldn't notice. When roll call was done, the bell rang for first period to start so Handa-sensei elegantly exited the room to go to his first period. Joey breathed a sigh of relief and he could act normal again. What was that? Why was he giving me that look? Does it mean something? While his mind was pondering what were the reasonings behind Handa-sensei's actions his first period teacher yelled at him to pay attention to class._

 _*lunchtiemm derp*_

 _Joey's stomach grumbled and he skipped his way down the hallway to the cafeteria for lunch. While he almost made his way to the cafeteria, a arm shot out and slammed the wall next to him. Joey was taken by surprise and turned his head to follow the arm to the whoever had slammed their hand on the wall. It was Handa-sensei and he was giving him a really sultry look. Joey's heart skipped a beat again and he started fidgeting around._

" _Uhm…. Handa-sensei why are u blocking me?" Joey said._

" _I wanted to see you." Handa-sensei replied back._

 _Joey felt so embarassed and felt like his heart would burst, even though he wasn't gazing into Handa-sensei's eyes he knew exactly what he looked like._

" _Come." Handa-sensei said._

 _He grabbed Joey by the wrist and swifty traversed down the hallway. Joey didn't know where they were going but only tried to keep up with Handa-sensei's large struts. Once they had reached their destination Joey realized they were in front of the teacher's lounge._

" _Uhm Handa-sensei why are we going to the teacher's lounge?" Joey said wide eyed._

" _Damate(stop)." Handa-sensei said and pushed him into the room._

 _Joey let out a little yelp and almost fell but he was caught by Handa-sensei and he was swiftly turned around with his back on the door and both of Handa-sensei's arms trapping him. Joey felt like he was going to melt into a puddle and then Handa-sensei lifted his chin with his finger so that his eyes met his. Joey felt like he was going to be devoured whole by Handa-sensei with his gaze._

" _Nande omae wa(why were you) looking sad desu during class?" Handa-sensei said forcefully._

" _Uhm… what do you mean? O.O" Joey replied._

" _Don't play baka(stupid) with me I know you are bothered by something." He said._

" _Nothing's wrong, I swear…" Joey said._

" _If you dont tell me what's okashi(wrong), I will kissu u ima sugu(right now), this instant." Handa-sensei forcefully said._

 _Joey was left speechless and put his trust into Handa-sensei and slowly opened the lid on what was bothering his heart. As he was describing his emotions and agony of his unrequited love with table, Handa-sensei had listened intently. He had not looked away the whole time and kept quiet. Joey felt touched inside that there was actually a person who would listen to Joey's plight. He felt himself more comfortable around Handa-sensei and continued on with his predicament. Once he finished Handa-sensei sighed. Joey was confused, why did he sigh? He wanted to know what Handa-sensei thought of his love with the table and wanted to know what advice he could get to help him make table-senpai notice him._

" _What should I do? Table won't notice me." Joey said sadly._

" _Then notice me." Handa-sensei said and he kissed him._

 _Joey was shocked, he couldn't believe what was happening right now. Handa-sensei was pinning him against the teacher's lounge door and was kissing him. The kiss was soft and gentle. His lips were smooth and warm. It was as if he was kissing a sakura(cherry blossom) flower. His mind started getting dizzy and it was hard to think. Handa-sensei supported him and after a minute of the sweet kiss they separated. Joey definitely knew that his face probably looked like a tomato. Handa-sensei however, he noticed that he had a very nice jawline and gentle dukey-colored eyes. His nose was long and small and he had lush cherry-pink lips. Although his face was pale, he had a tiny blush spreading across his face. It was as if his face was a beautiful portrait. He wanted to embed this image in his mind. And at that moment, he knew that his heart was solely for Handa-sensei. He didn't think about table-senpai anymore. In his mind, it was only Handa-sensei. The two of them were quiet for a while until Handa-sensei spoke up._

" _Domo arigatou(thank you very much) for sharing your worries with me." Handa-sensei softly said._

" _No, I domo arigatou(must thank) you because you were the first ningen(human) to listen to watashi(me)." Joey replied._

" _You know, I actually had feelings for you, I actually suki(like/love) you. I knew that you had kimochis(hots) for table-senpai. U don't know hao many times I wanted to steal you away but I had to play the supporting teacher role."_

" _Hontou ni(really)? All this time you were looking at just watashi(me)?" Joey said._

" _Hai, watashi wa itsumo(yes, I just) wanted to support you and listen to all your worries, I feel blessed that you were able to depend on me."_

" _...Handa-sensei you know, I think I suki(like/love) you too. You were the only person who gave me the helping hand through my school loifeu(life)."_

 _I wanted to say more but then Handa-sensei put a finger on my lips to shoosh(shush) me and we kissed again. This time, this kiss felt like it was securing a bond, the kizuna(bonds) between me and Handa-sensei._


	3. Joey X Violet

Hooiii I'm back with deez silly fanfics again!  
These are actually pretty fun to write about and I'm getting an interesting amount of shipping info for Joey XDDD  
Oh my dear good childhood friend, Joey~.  
This is whut happpens when u say dat if the fell in-love with a female name~

 **~Ps-** There might be moar japanese romanji words

~Naooo Pleasee do enjoyyy~

 _ **Joey X Violet**_

 _Slipping on his canvas book bag and making sure his wallet was in his pocket he opened the door. He stopped for a moment and called out to his family._

" _Goodbye oto-san, oka-san, doggo, baby, nee-san, ojii-san, oba-san." Joey called out._

 _He managed to catch the bus in time and stepped onto the bus and paid his fare. Today he was going to his favorite book store to buy manga because he's a weaboo. He plugged in his earphones and popped the earbuds in his ears and listened to his love live waifu trash. When the bus stop arrived in the district the bookstore was located in, he hopped off and took in the sight. People here and there were bustling around going to work or hanging out around the city. There were restaurants around the city and a bakery, which had a sickly sweet smell coming out. He was tempted, but no, he was on a mission to buy moar mangas. Zigzagging past pedestrians and making sure not to jaywalk, he turned the corner, and there it was the Kenijji bookstore. A lot of people have different types of interests or whatever hobbies and things they consider is their heaven. But to Joey, this bookstore was his haven. Turning the door, there was a bell attached on top and the door struck the bell. He loved the sound the bell made when it was hit and fully stepped inside the bookstore. The clerk was named Jeremy Lichen, he had been working at the bookstore for 2 hours. He wasn't well acquainted with the bookstore, they never made conversation. He walked down the familiar aisle of where the mangas were located. Soon enough, the beautiful polished rows of the spines of the manga were facing him. They were exposed in all their glory and soon Joey would find the manga he was looking for. He thumbed through the titles, loving the way each bump and curve felt beneath his fingertips. He stopped once he saw the familiar title, "Sword Art Not-Online." He grinned and was about to pull out the next volume until another hand shot out and pulled it out before he could get to it. Getting upset he looked up to see who the owner of the rude hand was and there it was, he laid eyes on a girl. This girl was one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen (he's never seen any). She had long orange hair, the color so vibrant like the sunset in the sky. The individual locks shone brightly as the sunlight from the bookstore windows streamed through. Her glistening amber eyes were solid and resolute. Her gaze was piercing a hole through Joey. Her style was quite unique, she donned a green shirt and green skirt which was in good taste. Her pale skin seemed to contrast with all the vibrant colors she had but it matched her well._

 _He realized that he had been shamelessly staring at her for a couple minutes and she had cleared her throat. He was finally taken back into reality and felt embarrassed. But then he also realized she was holding the last copy of the latest volume._

" _Uhm excuse me, but I was going for that copy…" Joey said quietly._

" _Hah? I WAS the first one to go for this copy." She snarked back_

" _But.. I was here first…" Joey piped up._

" _Too bad so sad, I got this one first." She said and then turned on her heel to walk away._

 _Joey didn't want to let her go and didn't care about the manga at this point and called out to her once again._

" _M-My name's Joey!" He yelled._

" _Hah? Why are you telling me your name, that's creepy…" She said turning around._

" _Uhm, is it possible If I can know your name? ;w;" Joey said._

" _...Violet." She said quietly and then started walking again._

 _Joey was taken aback. Violet. That was her name, she actually gave him the privilege of giving him her name. Her name was so beautiful, the two syllables came together so well, and in his mind she was like Venus, a goddess. Even though she was physically attractive, he was more into her name( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). It was one of the most beautiful names he's ever heard and didn't realize she had walked away. He wasn't ever sure he would meet her again, but he knew that it would be hard to forget about her._

 _*several dayz later at noice shady park derp( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)*_

 _Joey heaved a heavy sigh and shielded his eyes from the blinding sunlight that shone through the tree canopy._

" _OMAE WA(you) NEED GO TO PARK-DESU BECAUSE U FAT AND LAZY DESU! :U" Joey's mother screamed in his ear._

" _Okai okai oka-san(mom) ;-; gomenesai(sorry) I will go." Joey cried._

 _There, he was outside, in the bare sunlight which was burning him. He should have brought sunglasses with him, he didn't even know what to do at the park. He took a quick glance around and saw around that the park was strangely covered in many trees. There was also a playground for kids and of course sweaty children were playing around there. There were also couples around too just chilling and doing their lovey-dovey things. ;_; He just kind of stood awkwardly in the middle of the park and noticed someone had ran by past him. He looked up and saw the familiar beautiful orange colored hair, which was glinting in the sunlight. He immediately knew that it was Violet! It seemed that she was exercising at the park and he had a great idea. He would pretend he would also be exercising and then happen to come across her path. Re-tying his shoelaces, he started jogging. This isn't so bad, he thought. But as the minutes passed by he was starting to get very tired and his hair was starting to get really covered in oil and sweat. His glasses were sliding down his nose because of all the sweat that was piling up and streaking down his face. His legs were also starting to give out and he badly wanted to stop but he saw Violet coming down his way and he persisted._

 _Violet almost ran into Joey and shrieked when her shoulder touched Joey's sweaty and slick shoulder. She stopped jogging and put her hands on her hips and didn't look very pleased._

" _Yo, you are like covered in ALOT of sweat, don't you know there's a thing called deodorant?" She said harshly._

" _Uh yea gomenesai(sorry), watashi wa(I) sweaty(sweat very) easily. Hah… ;w;" Joey replied._

" _It's liek realyyy disgusting you know." Violet said._

 _After that she left and continued jogging, Joey got sad because she didn't recognize him, then again, he was probably insignificant to her. But he didn't want to give up, this was fate, and he was going to make very good opportunities with what he had. He continued to jog again and looked like he had been thrown in the ocean and came back. His hair was starting to get in his way and he slicked it back. To his surprise he managed to catch up and he tried to push himself and make a large strut but he ended up sticking his foot in front of Violet and she had tripped upon his foot._

" _KYAAA~!" she screamed_

" _Ohh nooooo! ;o;" Joey said and he managed to scoop her by the waist and he found himself dipping her(tango style)._

 _Violet just looked up in shock and was unable to speak and Joey felt very cool. But his arms were too weak and he was starting to shake. And because it was taking all his effort not to drop her, he started sweating even more immensely and his sweat started dripping off and fell onto Violet's face. The sweat got so bad to the point his glasses slipped off and fell on Violet too. (lmao) She shoved him off and started screaming at how disgusting the sweat was._

 _She stomped off angrily probably walking to a nearest restroom to clean herself off. Joey thought that it was time to give up but then he realized, why he had fallen for her. It was her name, her beautiful angelic name._

He decided to have one last try and he called out to her once again.

"Violet! It's watashi(I), Joey-desu!" He cried out.

"What?" Violet said and turned around

"Jitsu-wa(to be honest), watashi(I) fell in suki(love) with your namae(name). Your namae(name) was so beautiful that I couldn't help but fall in love wif kimi(you)." He started.

"..." Violet said. 

She didn't speak and the angry wrinkle in her forehead had ceased and her beautiful amber eyes had gazed right through Joey's heart and she started to smile. He was taken aback, her smile was also beautiful.

"Domo arigatou(thank you very much)… That's the first time someone has ever said they fell in love with me because of my name..." She quietly whispered.

"So... will you go out with me? :D?" Joey said.

"Lel no." She said.

~Fin.~


End file.
